Something Priceless

I could probably write a million blog posts on marriage.  I'm so thankful that my parents set an amazing precedence for me, but I've never met anyone who has had as wonderful a relationship as they do.

From Pinterest

They've been married now for 32 years.  According to the world, their marriage should never have lasted!  They barely dated before they got engaged and married, and only 15 short months later, I was born.  But they are in love.  Disgustingly in love.  Always have been!  I've never seen Dad raise his voice at me.  I've never seen Mom contradict Dad's authority in the family.  The doesn't mean it never happened, but I never saw it.  They've had their fair share of hard times, but they both kept smiling, and kept loving each other.  They valued their relationship.  Mom always said they had children young (my parents are both still in their 50's) so they could still be young enough to enjoy each other and have fun together.  But, the key word is valued.  Dad knew that mom was a jewel among pebbles.  Mom knew that Dad was a musician among karaoke singers.  (See what I did there, Mom and Dad!?)

I like to think of it in terms that I am more familiar with, though.  I collect tea pots.  Most of my teapots are antiques, and most are china.  Each teapot comes with a story about how and where I acquired it.  Each one is carefully placed on a shelf, out of the reach of little hands.  Each one gets dusted and cleaned.  Each one is special to me in some way.  But the most special is one I don't have yet.  It belongs to my granny, and I have loved it since I was a child.  It is beautiful - cream with a beautiful light green design around the top.  She's already written my name on it and promised it to me after she is gone, and it will be the most prized teapot in my collection when I have it.  Why?  Many reasons!  It is a gift from someone I love dearly.  It will remind me of her every time I look at it, and how she always thought of me when she looked at it.    It is irreplaceable.  It is beautiful and special.  It is time tested.

From Pinterest

In other words, I will guard that teapot more than I will any other teapot.  I'd rather lose all the other teapots I have in my collection than to lose that one.

My marriage to my husband is like that teapot.  It is a gift - a gift from God.  Every time I look my my husband, I am reminded of how much God loves me.  I'm reminded of how much He thinks of me, that he would put someone as special as Barb Wire Man in my life.  He planned for us to be together!  My marriage to Barb Wire Man is irreplaceable.  Sure, he or I could marry someone else, but there are memories, dreams, goals, and a friendship that would never be the same with anyone else.  What we have is special, and I rather lose friendships with everyone else in the world than to lose the love and friendship of my husband.

From Pinterst

I want to guard my marriage to Barb Wire Man even more than I would that tea pot.  Marriage isn't something to be put up on a shelf, then forgotten.  It also isn't something to be taken off the shelf and passed around haphazardly with everyone we see, to be broken, chipped or dirtied.  It is something to be valued, cherished, and lovingly care for.

My goal is to value every moment of my marriage.  In 15 years, I want my kids to look back and say they were disgusted at how much Mom and Daddy love each other.  I want them to model their marriage after ours.

Be blessed today!

Trust

Trust.  It is such a small word, but one of the greatest.

Without trust, a marriage is nothing.

This may be one of the hardest posts for me to write, because I know I'll be admitting to something that I've never wanted to!

I've mentioned in previous posts that I had been married before I married Barb Wire Man.  I married young...I was 18 and he was a Marine.  I was crazy in love with the boy at the time.  I hadn't ever lived on my own.  I grew up around incredibly Godly parents, and their Godly friends.  I only knew one person who had ever been divorced, and all my friends were wonderful, trustworthy people.  The truth was, I lived an incredibly sheltered life.  I'd never been betrayed or seriously emotionally hurt by anyone, because everyone I knew was raised that it was not okay to do that to a person!  I truly believed that everyone lived life like that!

To make a very long story short, I married very young, at 18, to a Marine whom I was madly in love with at the time.  He had plans of going to seminary one he was out of the military.  About 10 months after we were married, I found out I was pregnant with out first child.  I also found out he had been having an ongoing affair with an woman he worked with, and it was not his first affair.

I was shocked.  I was hurt.  I was ashamed.  I was embarrassed.  I was angry...no, furious.  I was devastated.  I was forever changed.

It was at that moment I chose  to trust no one.  There is, after all, only one man a girl can trust, and that is her daddy!  (Well, in my case 3, daddy, pa, and pawpaw!)

Then, I met my husband, Barb Wire Man.  Aside from the three aforementioned men, I've never met a man more honest.  Because he always shot straight with me, I tried to make sure I was a trusting, un-jealous wife.  When he went out with the boys, I shoved any un-trusting feelings down so deep, even I didn't realize I felt them.  For 9 years, it worked great!  Now, the trust I have in my husband was not ruined, far from it, but it did take a little jolt.

There are two things, though that I noticed about myself recently.

First, I realized that while at one time I trusted no one, I was beginning to trust people again.  Not just saying that I trusted people, but actually trusted them.  And I also realized that I really do not want to trust people.  I hate that I feel that way!  After 30 years of being on this planet, I've learned to not trust people, and those who I do are met with a very guarded, cautious trust.

Secondly, I realized I am a very, very jealous person.  I really don't like that, either.  I've always tried to shove any form of jealousy down very deep, because I never wanted to be a jealous person,  Jealous women annoy me!  But I was forced to admit that when it comes to a few things, like my husband, I am very jealous!

For our marriage to be healthy, I have to learn to work past these things.  So far, the only thing I can do is pray about it!  I don't want to be a guarded person, and I do not want to be a jealous person.  Do you struggle with trust issues?

Be blessed today!