Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Now Hiring - Any Takers?

I am exhausted today.  At 2:00 this morning, I felt small stuffed animals being thrown into my bed.  Barb Wire Man didn't flinch, but that is probably because the hard button nose of a stuffed puppy didn't hit him in the eye like it did me.
"I by you mama."  That what the Little Man says when he wants me to hold him, sit by him, or let him sleep in our bed.
"Oh no.  You sleep in your bed.  This is Mama and Daddy's bed."  And off we went, walking down the hall holding three stuffed puppies and a Harley-Davidson blanket.  He crawled back into bed without an argument, told me night-night, and I made my way back down the hallway in a sleepy stupor.  Until I hit my toe on what I think is a 1/32 scale  tractor trailer model. I stifled my "OUCH" as best as possible, and heard Little Man giggle.  I just know he must have thought "I knew I left that somewhere!"
I should have just stayed awake at this point, but I didn't.  I climbed back into bed, and realized my toe was hurting pretty bad for just stubbing it on a toy.  I got up, again, and flipped the bathroom lights on.
After my momentary blindness, I saw blood pouring out of my toe.  Maybe not pouring, but it was bloody.  And it hurt like the dickens.
Next thing I know, our alarm clock is going off.  It seemed like just ten minutes before I was awake, but in reality it was a couple hours.  Thankfully, Barb Wire Man hit the snooze a few times before he announced that it was time to get up.
I toyed with the idea of going back to bed, but I didn't.  My job as a homemaker is as important to me as actually leaving the house to go to work.  I had things to do and if I wanted them done on time, I had to get going.  I'm glad I did, because its not even noon and all my daily chores are finished, and supper is already in the crock pot cooking.  The kids are napping, Flower is reading a book, and I could lay down and take a nap.  But I won't.  I always say I will, then I pick up my knitting needles and loose track of time.
But last night got me to thinking...

If mothering children and homemaking were reimbursable jobs, no one would apply for the job:

"All applicants must have experience running on little to no sleep.  Paid vacations, sick days and personal days are not provided.  Job duties include kissing boo-boos, constant laundry, and constant cleaning.  Refereeing experience preferred but not required.  Ability to pull whatever it is your child needs whenever they want it out of the blue is expected.  Must be able to play monster, trucks, dolls, and tea party all day long, while ensuring supper is on the table when your husband comes home.  Customer service skills, and good manners required, as you will be constantly training our future.  All applicants should consider applying  for a HazMat licence, as you will be wiping butts and boogers often, as well as cleaning out leftovers in the refrigerator.  Pay Scale: Commiserate of experience.  Starting pay is smiles and giggles.  Glass ceiling is reached once you are able to sit back and watch your own children complain about the fact that you are spoiling their children."


  1. Haha. That sounds pretty accurate. Hope your toe is better!


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