Hello again, world. I'm ba-aaack! At least for now, anyhow. I'm feeling much better for the most part, and am now just waiting on test results. I'm praying these results will tell us what in the world is going on with my body, because frankly, I don't want any more tests!
I made it to church yesterday! Praise God! The pastor's message went hand in hand with the things I have been reading, thinking, and feeling. Thursday night, I was hurting pretty badly, and just not feeling well at all. I couldn't sleep, and figured I was probably keeping Barb Wire Man up, too. As I was lying there, my mind wandered and I thought, "OK, God. I'm in pain. I feel like all 18 wheel's of Barb Wire Man's truck have just run over me. I've prayed, and prayed and prayed, and honestly, I don't know where in the heck you are. I'm starting to get really frustrated. I feel like I do my best to serve you and honor you, but here lately, I'm not feeling like you care anymore. Is it even worth it?! I'm scared something is really wrong with me, and where are you God?!"
The next morning, I didn't even feel like reading my Bible like usual. I just grabbed it, and opened it up, not even really caring where it landed. It was Lamentations 3. I thought "Really?! Lamentations!? A book that is 5 whole chapters long, out of 66 books in the Bible!? What are the chances...."
Until I got to verses 21&22:
"Yet I call this to mind, and therefore I have hope: because of Yahweh's faithful love, we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! I say, "Yahweh is my portion, therefore, I put my hope in Him."
Skip forward to Sunday morning. I took Flower to Sunday School, but came back home to finish getting myself and Little Man ready. Natalie Grant's new Song Your Great Name came on, and I drove around until it finished playing. I loved the line: Every fear has no place, at the sound of your great name. The enemy, he has to leave, at the sound of your great name! It gave me chills!
The first song we sang in church was the old hymn Great is They Faithfulness. Indeed. At his point, I was thinking "OK, God. I totally get it now. I'm listening!" Then would you believe the sermon was based on Lamentations 3:21-26?! NO JOKE! I darn near fell out of the pew.
The first point of his sermon was that God's faithfulness is evident despite the trials of life. Why am I going through trials? Because of sin. Because God made us in His perfect will, but we chose to leave that path, and sickness is just one of the repercussions of that very first sin. God's mercies are new every morning, yet they are unchanging. He loves us. He is faithful to see us through our trials.
I'm not putting my hope in doctors figuring out what is wrong. I'm not putting my hope in finding which pill is going to make me feel better. I'm not putting my hope in a surgery.
I am putting my hope in my God who loves me and wants the best for me. I am putting my hope in Him, that He will guide the doctors to help me make the best decisions. I am putting my hope in Him, that he will use this time in my life as a testimony and witness to those around me, just as He has every other trial in my life. Why? Because He is faithful, and therefore, I have hope.
- ► 2012 (79)
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- ...His Mercies Never End.
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