I'd really love to read your blog but...

A few blogging friends and I recently had a discussion about our biggest peeves regarding other blogger's sites.  The annoyances had very little to do with the topics, the design, or the opinions expressed within the blog post.
Nearly all had something to do with spelling and grammatical errors.  But, what can one do?  Leave a comment that says "Look, this could have been an awesome post, but because your period key must have been broken, I can't read it."  Nope.  That's tacky. Or, I could say, "You're an idiot.  Please cancel your account."  Nah...that is even tackier.  So, I began to compose a letter in my head of what I would say.  Today, I will "send" that letter.


***Disclaimer!!!  This letter is in no way intended for the many blogs I follow!!  All your blogs rock, which is why I follow you in the first place!  The blogs I'm referring to are blogs I have stumbled upon, but do not follow.  It isn't directed at any one blogger in particular, but several I have come across lately!***


Dear Fellow Blogger,
     I would really love to read your blog,  I would, but it causes me physical pain to stumble through it.  I'm certain the point you were trying to make was a very important one, and one close to your heart.  I can tell you must be passionate about your topic, because your thoughts were flying so fast you didn't even have time for punctuation.  That tiny little dot...its called a period.  It may be small, but makes an enormous impact.  By the time I made it through your first paragraph  sentence, I had already forgotten about what topic you were writing.  The first paragraph of your blog...It needed to be 5 sentences at the very least.  I cannot continue to read your blog when I cannot even understand your "sentence".  When in doubt - diagram!
     Spelling.  Spelling, spelling, spelling.  Such a simple task, yet so damned difficult for so many people.  We all make the occasional mistake; even the most professional of authors will occasionally glance over a typo and leave it uncorrected.  Allow me to introduce to you two of an author's best friends - spell check and proofread.  Most programs will actually underline the misspelled words in red, so you can easily identify and correct any mistakes.  All this time you wondered what that squiggly line was for!  Those not immediately caught can usually be corrected by clicking on the little "spell-check button".  (Someone give that inventor a cookie.  Its the best thing since sliced bread.)  Once that is finished, read through your blog. S-l-o-w-l-y.  As though you have no idea what it says.  Trust me...you will find some pretty glaring mistakes.  Like missing words.  (Again, I'm sure it was because you were so passionate that your little fingers were flying faster than your brain could handle.)
     A dictionary should become your closest, most trusted friend.  It will help you spell.  It will help you to understand what some of those words you used (incorrectly) were.  It will also help you come to the realization that "clataclismic" is not even a word at all.  (By the way, the word is cataclysmic.)
   One of my mottos is "Proper English can make a stupid person look wise, but a poor grasp on the English language can make make even the most intelligent of people look like an idiot."
     Again, I'd love to read your blog.  I'm sure you have a lot to offer!  Unfortunately, your blog is like fingernails on the chalkboard of my brain.  Please, I beg you.  Borrow your child's Basic English Language text book, then get back with me.  Have a lovely day.


Signed,
Literate Bloggers Everywhere